Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Maybe I should get me some of that.

MegaDick, that is.

My work email has recently been inundated with spam from the MegaDick corporation, all of it designed to make me feel inadequate because my penis is so small. Or, excuse me, my "pen!s."

"Don't you think it's time you stopped being a loser with a tiny pen!s?"

That's kind of harsh, don't you think?

"There are no losers among the possessors of long dic'ks."

No losers, perhaps, but plenty of inappropriate punctuation usage.

Don't worry, though, MegaDick assures me it can turn me into a winner:

"So, don't miss it out, perform a miracle in your life with this unexampled preparation."

"Unexampled preparation"? What the hell does that even MEAN? And speaking of "what the hell does that even mean," what the hell does THIS, received as a subject line, even mean:

"Wattlework fouled driftingly bewrayment"

Or this:

"lactation wilcox brawlis macwilliams"

Well, I don't know about you, but I am completely befuddled. First I'm being urged to enlarge an organ I didn't even know I HAD (and the huge plastic one given to me by friends as a 30th birthday present certainly doesn't need enlarging!), and now it's all "wattlework" and "lactation."

So I didn't know WHAT to think when I saw this:

"We featured it Tuesday and it exploded."

Calm down, it turns out they were talking about an investment opportunity. Whew.


3carnations said...

Um...I'm sure you realize this, but your stats are about to go up because of weirdos google searching the terms you've used in this post. You might want to ADD some inappropriate punctuation to discourage that... :)

Stinkypaw said...

We're on the same mailing list! hee

L Sass said...

My old boss, a tiny little Jewish woman in her 70s, would carefully inspect her Spam filter every few days and rush out of her office, complaining, "It's all p**** enlargement! All p**** enlargement!!"

Stefanie said...

I was going to say pretty much what 3Cs said. Oh well. Absurd search engine hits are always fun, right?

Noelle said...

Oh balls, sometimes those spams are funny. And sometimes they are just so... shocking.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I'm always amazed at the spam that I see in my junk box. Why would nonsensical gibberish make me want to buy a p* enlarger/prescription drugs cheap/female hormones? I don't get it!

Sauntering Soul said...

Okay, I'm cracking up at the comment from I sass. That's hysterical.