MegaDick, that is.
My work email has recently been inundated with spam from the MegaDick corporation, all of it designed to make me feel inadequate because my penis is so small. Or, excuse me, my "pen!s."
"Don't you think it's time you stopped being a loser with a tiny pen!s?"
That's kind of harsh, don't you think?
"There are no losers among the possessors of long dic'ks."
No losers, perhaps, but plenty of inappropriate punctuation usage.
Don't worry, though, MegaDick assures me it can turn me into a winner:
"So, don't miss it out, perform a miracle in your life with this unexampled preparation."
"Unexampled preparation"? What the hell does that even MEAN? And speaking of "what the hell does that even mean," what the hell does THIS, received as a subject line, even mean:
"Wattlework fouled driftingly bewrayment"
"lactation wilcox brawlis macwilliams"
Well, I don't know about you, but I am completely befuddled. First I'm being urged to enlarge an organ I didn't even know I HAD (and the huge plastic one given to me by friends as a 30th birthday present certainly doesn't need enlarging!), and now it's all "wattlework" and "lactation."
So I didn't know WHAT to think when I saw this:
"We featured it Tuesday and it exploded."
Calm down, it turns out they were talking about an investment opportunity. Whew.