Friday, May 14, 2010

The weekly update

So...if you're wondering how last weekend's date with Bachelor #5 didn't. Turns out his son and grandson decided to drive up from Dallas for a Mother's Day weekend get-together, and wanted him to be there, too. He didn't feel right saying no, of course, so our date was postponed until this weekend. He felt really bad about it, but I completely understand. Nothing trumps time with a grandchild. The son also announced at the big family gathering that he and his wife were expecting another grandchild,'s a good thing he was there.

So, our date is tomorrow night. I'm excited and a little nervous. We talk on the phone every day, and he seems so nice. I hope he's not disappointed with me in real life. I hope I'm not disappointed with HIM in real life. OMG, what if he has stubby fingers? Heh.

I keep trying to ignore Bachelor #6; I really do. But he just keeps refusing to realize he's being ignored. He emailed me last week, said he'd taken another look at my profile, and wanted to point out what he thought was a grammatical error, hoping I could take a "little dig." Hoping that I had "a since of humor." WTF?! Excuse me? Okay, I think what he pointed out was probably not technically "correct," but since it's an online dating profile and not, say, a scholarly treatise, I think a little colloquialism is okay, don't you? Mind you, his emails had been, from the beginning, rife with bad grammar and misspellings/typos. And I did not point out any of them, preferring to give him a pass, as it seemed he had some other good qualities that might offset the grammatical/keyboarding deficiencies.

But no more. I emailed back, simply, "I have a SENSE of humor." Then I went back to ignoring him...or so I thought.

But since then I've gotten a couple more emails from him, each one beginning by apologizing for his having been "out of touch." NO, NO, NO. You haven't been out of touch. I'VE BEEN OUT OF TOUCH. ON PURPOSE.

I guess if he doesn't get the message this time, I'll go ahead and email him back and tell him just exactly why HE is being ignored. Gah.

In other news, my rat problem seems to be over. Mama Rat finally succumbed to the whopping amount of rat poison I put out for her under the house. (And boy, oh boy, did I hate having to resort to that. But she wouldn't go in the live trap. Damn it.) She had the decency to die out in the yard, and not under the house or heating unit where she's been hiding. I thought that was very considerate. I apologized profusely to her, told her I hoped she had a good, long life, that the poison was at least tasty, and that the end wasn't too painful. Then I buried her in the backyard near the spot where I buried my last pet rats.

I know, I'm a schmuck with a bleeding heart. But she can't help being a rat--it's what God made her to be, and she was only doing what she was designed to do. I hate having to punish a creature for that. (Except I'm a total hypocrite sometimes, because I immediately went inside and swatted the hell out of an enormous horse fly. But those things BITE.)

Bachelor #5 has heard every installment of the rat saga, by the way, and did not once tell me I'm an idiot...and he still wants to come see me. He gets major points for that, believe me.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

And counting...

Let's catch you up quickly on bachelors #5 and #6.

Number #5 and I have talked on the phone pretty regularly this week. I don't know what he'll be like in person, but he is great fun on the phone. I will probably fall madly in love with him, as he not only lives in a different TOWN, but also a different STATE. (But just barely--he's a little over an hour away.) I will fall for the one farthest away, right? That's a given? We have tentative plans to meet on Saturday evening. I'll keep you posted.

Number #6 is not quite so delightful over the phone, but there were some things I found interesting about him, so I agreed to get together with him last weekend. I was supposed to call him when I was done with my rehearsal Sunday afternoon, and we were to go to dinner around 7:00. I called him at 5:48. I called him at 7:02. He finally called back at 8:00--I was on the phone with someone else and didn't return the call. According to his voice mail, he "fell asleep," was "so sorry," and I should feel free to call him back about 9:00. I did not. Aside from standing me up, he had also sent an email earlier that day making a "joke" re: wondering how I was "in the sack," and then immediately following it with "oh, it's probably too soon for that, sorry." Um, dude...a) yes, it is too soon for that, and b) this is an email; you can take back the things you mistakenly "blurt out" with a little simple backspacing or the delete button. So I really hadn't planned to call him back.

Yesterday I found an email in my junk box from his work email address, apologizing for having not been in touch. He hasn't been feeling well, and promises we'll "get together soon." Argh! I was ignoring YOU, dude, you weren't ignoring ME. That's a very important distinction! I am the Ignorer!

Aside from that, I've been dealing with an infestation of rats under my house and in my garage. Aren't you jealous? Don't you wish you had live-trapped and released 8-9 (I lost track) baby rats over the last few days? I know you do.

Between work, rehearsal, four-legged rats, a two-legged rat, and a delightful man in another state, I've been busy. And I am EXHAUSTED. Wish I could take a nap. I have this Friday afternoon off, but there can be no napping. I've got a lawn to mow, and 28 tomato seedlings to get into the ground at a friend's new community garden. No rest for the weary this week.