Friday, November 09, 2007

"Everything Comes Down to Poo."*

Seriously, why does so much of my life seem to revolve around animal excrement? (So much so that a good many of my search engine hits involve various terms for the products that leave the body--poop, shit, pee, puke, etc.)

Last night I had to go meet my animal rescue friend to pick up Steve the stray from his second (unsuccessful) stint at PetSmart, where we're trying to get him adopted. I hadn't eaten dinner, and had given some thought to running out to my favorite restaurant afterwards to pick up some "crack noodles." (Crazy good Vietnamese noodle dish--I crave it so strongly there MUST be drugs in it.)

I met Linda at our designated swapping spot. She generally has about a dozen cats she carts back and forth to this gig--her car is crammed floor to ceiling with caged cats. "Someone pooped in their carrier," she said. "I think it might be Steve."

It was. Of course. Forget the noodles. I rolled down the window, turned the fan on high (vents pointed AWAY from me) and raced home. Where, instead of munching on delightful noodles, I spent a few minutes washing Steve's hiney and cleaning out the crate. MY LIFE IS SO MUCH FUN!

Earlier in the evening, I had demonstrated my one-handed cat puke cleanup, while on the phone with BFF. Didn't miss a beat, or a word of conversation, when Babs went spewing. Just followed her around with a paper towel. I had to hang up, though, when Pudge suddenly decided to part company with HIS dinner. "Sorry," I said to BFF, "I can't clean up THAT much puke with one hand." I am a delightful cellular conversationalist, aren't I?

But it's finally Friday, thank god, and New Guy is, I believe, staying in town for the first weekend in a while, and we have tentative plans to take in a play and a concert. So hopefully it will be a delightful weekend.

I'm sure it won't be excrement-free, though. "I am, after all, me."**


*If you don't know the source of that, well then, you missed out.
**That's for BFF, should he read this post. It's one of our favorite movie quotes.

8 comments:

Stinkypaw said...

I feel for you, I really do (and I also gag)!

how come your critters are sick like that? Is it because they miss their mommy or something they ate?

Poor Steve, unwanted and soiled, poor kitty.

Hope your weekend will be poo free and filled with good times with New Guy!

Noelle said...

My cat always pukes when I go away. Since I've been gone for a week, I came home last night to find she had puked on my favorite pair of sneakers. Thankfully, they're machine washable and I won't need the right one for a while. Either way, picking up after the messes of cats can be sooooo gross.

Stefanie said...

OK, I think the title line was from Scrubs, but I'm at a loss for that last quote.

Also, the fact that you have an "animal rescue friend" just further reminds me of that "Year of the Dog" movie with Molly Shannon. Have you seen that yet?

SUEB0B said...

What a party.

Goldie rolled in some human shit last week. I have washed and washed her, but every time she gets damp it still smells...gagworthy. It musta got IN there somehow. Ick ick ick.

lizgwiz said...

stinkypaw, it seems someone's always puking in my house. I don't think it's that uncommon, especially for cats, it's just that I have so many that the rate of puke cleanup is a little higher. ;)

noelle, mine haven't puked on anything but the floor LATELY. (We won't talk about the past incidents with the stereo and the computer keyboard.)

stef, I have not seen it yet. I need to. The quote was from "Working Girl." Sigourney Weaver's character is detailing the reasons she thinks Harrison Ford's character will soon be proposing. "...I've cleared my calendar for the month of November, I've indicated I'm receptive to an offer, and I am, after all, ME." The way she says it is just hilarious.

suebob, human shit? Ewwwwwwwww...that's the worst!

Sauntering Soul said...

I totally understand...

Bailey pukes and pees and poops on stuff all the time. But by far the worst time was when I went out of town and realized when I arrived at my destination that she had peed all over my clothes in my suitcase. I had to go the next morning and buy a new suitcase and some new clothes.

By the way, in response to your comment on my blog, the red chairs on my deck came from Ross (yes, the discount store) of all places. My mom found them and bought them for me. I love them too!

Lara said...

You know, I arrived home on Friday after a particularly shitty afternoon, sat down on the floor to give Chester some love, and he promptly puked on my leg. Le sigh.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Sometimes your posts make me rethink wanting to be a pet owner. :)