I think I've felt this way before, but it's been awhile. What do they call this again? Oh yeah...I'm kind of happy.
It's scary. What if it goes away again soon? The good thing, the reliable thing, about being...not UNhappy, but just not really happy, is that you get used to it. You know how it feels, how to deal with it. It's almost comfortable. (Yeah, that's kind of sad, but there you have it.) And having that comfort (sad or not) taken away is unsettling. Not a bad thing, but unsettling nonetheless.
So I'm trying to just enjoy it for what it is, while it is, and not worry too much about what's down the road, but it's hard. It's all going to change next week, one way or the other, when Mr. New Guy moves into his own apartment, (which is all the way across town, in pretty much my least favorite neighborhood in the world, but that was where he found something available this weekend, and he was anxious to get it settled, and I can't blame him, but OH how he's going to hate that commute, and if he thinks I'm going to be spending a lot of time on that side of town, he's sadly mistaken) and we'll have to figure out how much time we have for each other when more effort is required to make it happen.
By which I mean that yes, he's been staying at my place. 'Nuff said.
And if you had told me a week ago that I, the most anal-retentive person around when it comes to "my" space, would actually enjoy having someone invading it, I would have thought you were crazy. And of course, it's only been a few days, and he's a most considerate houseguest, and if he were to stay longer it would probably begin to chafe a bit (my house is small), but still...unsettling!
I can't believe how comfortable I am with this guy. Maybe there's hope for me after all.
And if it turns out that this week has just been a little New Guy-filled, Wiley-free bubble, and that bubble pops all to hell next week, well, whatever will be will be, right? It was a lovely bubble while it lasted.
And I've always got Pudge. Poor, poor Pudge, who's quite the most anxious dog in the world right now. "Where'd that other dog go? I kind of liked him. And who's THIS guy? Am I going next? WHERE'S MY MOMMY??!!!" I hope his little brain doesn't explode.