From the pen of Paris Hilton, Incarceration Day One:
Well, here I am in the pokey. LOL...I said pokey.
My mother said I should take this time for reflection. WhatEVER. She doesn't know how hard that is in here!!! I've been looking in this piece of shit mirror for HOURS, and I can hardly even see my reflection! I can tell that I still look HOTT, though. Orange is sexy.
Omigod, this toilet is disgusting. I'm afraid if I sit on it I'll end up with a firecrotch. LOL. I can't believe I'm in here and that bitch gets off with rehab. It's so unfair. Why does everyone hate me? I can't help it that I'm so much hotter than everyone else. They're just jealous of me!!!
Omigod, my memwa...memo...mammary...my BOOK about my ink...encar...insurr...jail time is going to be so hott. It's going to be all about how totally misunderstood I am. And what a model prisoner I am. I love modeling! Modeling is HOTT. I wonder when the runway show starts.