I actually ended up seeing him both Saturday and Sunday nights, so clearly it wasn't too painful, right? Hee.
Saturday night he made me spaghetti at his house, then we watched TV and became frustrated at the lack of privacy at his place. His sister and nephew were there--they're lovely people, but the apartment is really just too small for them all, plus they go to bed really early, in the living room, and then it just gets kind of awkward. So I didn't stay too late. Which made Hot Med sad, so I said I'd probably see him the next day.
Sunday afternoon I went to a birthday party, and then picked him up and brought him back to my place. We'd both already eaten, so there was no kitchen struggle. Heh. I made him watch the Amazing Race with me (which he seemed to enjoy--lots of action), and then...well...I did mention that I am physically attracted to him, right? (Which is sort of a welcome relief, after all the "nice guy no sparks" dates.) And he keeps telling me how beautiful I am? I'm only human, people!
So, anyway, it was a pleasant evening. I haven't seen him since, as I've been busy with lawn-mowing, Fridiron rehearsal, etc. Which I explained to him would be the case, and I think he understood. I'm assuming we'll probably get together tomorrow night or Saturday (or both), then I'm tied up with the show the next several days.
I'll admit that he seems to be growing on me in some ways...but I still really can't see this being a longterm thing. He doesn't seem particularly motivated to get back into ESL classes ("you teach me"--um, no), and I just don't think there will be the intellectual stimulation I will need as the new wears off, so to speak.
Here are the pros and cons, as I see them:
- he thinks I'm beautiful
- he tells me so repeatedly
- he is gentlemanly
- he likes to cook for me
- I find him attractive
- he has a nice family
- we can't carry on a conversation
- he's not particularly intellectually curious, it seems
- he doesn't drive, has no car, and doesn't live particularly close to me
- he can be a bit controlling
- he had the nerve to suggest I go to the gym with him--while his hand was resting on my belly (he's lucky he didn't pull back a bloody stump--to his credit, he did immediately apologize and tell me again how beautiful I am)
So, I'm kind of being a guy, I guess. Heh. You know, continuing to see someone with whom I don't really see a future, because it's fun for the time being. No harm, no foul, right? I've been very clear with him that I am only interested in dating at this point--no "boyfriend," no "marry." (He did actually ask me my "intentions," so to speak...in the form of a multiple choice question, those being the three possible answers.) My conscience is really clear on that point...and yet I still feel a little bad. Damned liberal white guilt! Why can't I just enjoy myself and not feel like I'm leading him on? He's a grownup, I've been honest with him--if he wants to continue seeing me under these conditions, I have no reason to feel guilty, right? After all, I willingly kept seeing Mr. Short Term for a while, in a similar situation, and I bear him no ill will.
So, that's where it stands. I'm just planning to let it play out for a bit, and see how I feel as it goes.
What would YOU do?