Monday, July 23, 2007

The Dating Game

My life has been really boring of late. Nothing but work, exercise and the care and feeding of myriads of stray and formerly stray animals. Yawn.

But maybe that's all about to change. Cue mood change music. (Okay, I would like for this to be sunny, positive music, with lots of swelling strings and flutes. But this is MY life, so it will probably turn out to be something more along the lines of the "Jaws" theme. BA-dum. BA-dum.)

I might have a date this week.

I know! (Wait--are those sharks circling?)

A couple of weeks ago, lured by the earnest exhortations of one "Dr. Meil Mlark Marren," founder of "MeMarmony," I decided to "check out my matches for free." There was one fairly interesting one, and when, soon after, he requested "open communication," I decided what the heck. I'll check with Stefanie, the "MeMarmony" queen, and see if she had any problems with them (other than failing to find her perfect match, of course). 'Cause we all know that no weighty (or frivolous, for that matter) personal decisions should be made without input from the blogosphere. She gave me the green light, so I signed up for a short-term membership.

Before I even had time to check out his profile, Mr. Potentially Interesting was asking to "Fast Track." Oh, my! What's the etiquette on this? Does agreeing to "Fast Track" before we've even answered each other's initial questions, not to mention shared our "Must Haves" and "Can't Stands," make me a MeMarmony slut? Ah, who cares! "Fast Track" it is. After a couple of brief emails, he gave me his phone number with a "call me sometime," and after a few days of playing phone tag, we finally spoke on the phone this weekend.

And?

Well, it was a pleasant enough conversation. Not earth-shattering, by any means, but lively enough that we decided we should probably meet in person for a drink or something soon. I'll keep you posted.

I don't think I'm in any real danger of being disappointed, because I currently have no real expectation that any guy will ever meet my stringent list of qualifications (intelligent, witty, honest, single, and in possession of one and ONLY one Y chromosome), and still somehow be interested in me. Isn't that sad?

It wasn't always that way. I used to go into every early date thinking "this is going to be great." And sometimes it was. Sometimes it wasn't. And sometimes it was, and then things still went south for reasons both understandable and unfathomable.

I was thinking of one of those "unfathomable" guys this weekend. I happened to see him on TV--his church runs a weekly half-hour on a cable channel, and he sings in their praise and worship band. Anyway, I channel surfed past him and laughed, remembering his reason for dumping me after a couple of dates, years ago. We met at a theatre-related function, and there was instantly undeniable chemistry. He was a bit younger than me, and very handsome and talented. We went out a couple of times, and on the second date he said, basically, that he was interested in a serious, longterm relationship leading to marriage, and since he "didn't sense" that I was interested in the same, he needed to move on and not waste any more time. WTF? It was our second date. And our first date was a movie date, with very little actual conversation. (It was "JFK," so it was a very LONG movie date, with even more time without actual conversation.) I responded that I wasn't UN-interested in those same things, but since I didn't feel like we really knew each other very well yet, I wasn't prepared to declare one way or the other. And that was the end of that.

Not long after, I heard he had traded in his single-guy car for a minivan, to be ready for that impending wife and children. That was 15 years ago, and he's still single. I wonder why?

Seriously, guys (I'm going to go ahead and pretend I have actual male readers, though that is rarely the case), it's not in any way romantic to be so desperate to be married that you bring it up on a second date...unless it's in the form of "you are so incredibly fantastic that I believe I might have to marry you someday." When you leave out the "you are so incredibly fantastic" part, it makes it feel really impersonal. I'm not against marriage, by any means, but I want to marry a guy who wants to marry ME, not a guy who wants to marry, period. See the difference?

That wasn't the only time I had a "marriage discussion" on a second date. Another time, I got a semi-proposal on the second date, phrased something like this: "You're tall, I like the way you look, and I think you would make a good mother for my children. Would you perhaps consider thinking about marriage in about six months time?" That one came from a Nigerian, and I did take into consideration cultural differences before I said "Well, that was incredibly romantic, but I think I'm going to pass. Thanks, anyway."

Anyone still wondering why I have remained single?

At any rate, while I am looking forward to meeting Mr. Potentially Interesting, I won't be at all surprised if it doesn't lead anywhere. Though maybe the universe will remember that 2007 is the Year of Liz, and it will be wonderful. Anything can happen, right?

Or maybe the universe (like Cute Church Guy, most likely), is under the impression that I'm a lesbian, and is taking steps to introduce me to some great gals. It would be an easy mistake to make, I guess, considering that I am now on the guest list for the upcoming marriage of my church lesbian buddies. Yes, I was hand-delivered a lovely invitation yesterday. I'm planning to go, of course--it was very nice of them to think of me. And who knows--maybe one of them has a brother.

7 comments:

Stinkypaw said...

Now that a good way to think about it. Good lick with both the date and the wedding encounters (if any are to occur). I think I remember dating... and a part of me is missing it and yet I'm happily married and wouldn't trade him in. I'm sure the right one for you will come along, once he manages to get through the myriads of animals ;-)

Hang in there girlfriend and enjoy the date as much as you can. Can't wait to read more about it!

3carnations said...

Yay! I'm excited about your pending-maybe-meet-for-a-drink occasion.

Regarding the lesbian wedding...Does cute church guy know the ladies? Maybe you could ask him to be your date to that (sorry, maybe-drink guy, a girl's got to keep her options open).

stefanie said...

Year of Liz! I almost forgot about that (which is weird, considering I'm the one who gave you the trophy)! :-)

I am sending good date vibes your way (whatever that means or is worth). If nothing else, you'll get some blog fodder out of it, right? (I've obviously gone on dates with that in mind more than once...) Have fun!

-R- said...

I hope the date is fun!

I can't believe those men were thinking about marriage on the second date. So weird. And the one bought a minivan before he even had a woman in his life? Sad but hilarious.

lizgwiz said...

stinkypaw, so far I've only told Mr. Potentially Interesting that I have "some" pets--wait until he finds out the truth! Hee.

3car, Cute Church Guy does know the brides. He might be invited to the wedding, actually...maybe I do need to bring a date!

stef, I had almost forgotten myself that it's MY year. I need to keep reminding people. And yes, it does make the thought of a bad date more palatable, knowing I can make a blog post out of it!

-r-, truly sad. And hilarious. Poor guy. Some mutual friends of ours were wondering aloud once why such a hot guy wasn't married. "Well, let me tell you..."

nancypearlwannabe said...

I think the Nigerian dude would've creeped me out WAY more than it seemed to creep you out! I hope your date this week is great.

lizgwiz said...

npw, I really do think he meant it as a compliment. In his way.