Okay, we all know that certain types of shiny red sports cars and monstrously oversized pickup trucks can be an indication that the male owner is lacking a little in the "size" department, right? (Come on, they've got to be compensating for something.) I just don't usually expect there to be a literal interpretation of that compensation.
Yesterday I pulled up behind a truck with balls. Yes, you heard me right--BALLS. It was one of those monstrously oversized pickups, and dangling from the rear axle was what can only be described as a large set of testicles. (About the size a bull might have, to put them in perspective.) I racked my brain to come up with some other purpose for what I saw, but I could not. THEY WERE BALLS. A flesh-colored sac, with two orb-like protuberances hanging inside, swaying merrily as the truck moved.
Is this a thing now? Am I behind the times? Do I need to get a big set of boobs to attach to the front of my car?
BALLS. Sheesh.
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9 comments:
I've seen those! I tried to describe them to my husband, who was basically like "Yeah, right."
A couple months later, he saw them...He said "You know those things you were telling me about...I saw them."
Yuck.
H's family thinks those are hilarious. I have not seen them, thank goodness.
I've seen those, too! (And somehow, I forgot to blog about them.) ;-)
I don't mean to be a high-brow snob, but I think the people who think those are funny are the same people who think Larry the Cable Guy is funny. (Did the license plate on that truck say "Git R Dun"? Because I've seen that, too. No, really. Ugh.)
Ew. I hope those don't hit my area. Sweets would probably love them, and there's just no way I'll ride in a pickup with testicles.
3car, I don't know whether I'm relieved that I wasn't imagining things or horrified that this is a trend. Okay...horrified wins.
-r-, I'm sure eventually you'll be innocently driving along, as I was, and look up to find balls in your face. Hee.
stef, I think you might be correct in your assumption. I haven't seen any Git R Dun license plates, but I know ol' Larry's very popular 'round these parts. ;)
sparkling, stick to your guns. No riding with testicles!
Liz, I've seen those in OkieLand, but have yet to spot them in North Cackalackie. Think it's because of all the liberals who live in my neck of the woods? Or am I revealing my political bias here? ;)
Stephanie, I may not know you, but I totally agree with your opinion. I'm no prude, but I sure can recognize tasteless tackiness when I see it.
mary, I will hope for your sake that the trend dies before it makes it your way!
There is this creeping crudity that makes me feel like I am a prim and proper old lady. The other night in the hospital lounge, a sitcom had the line "He would crap on a communion cracker if he knew." My sis and I just looked at each other and said "What???" How is that in any way funny or appropriate? I personally don't believe that the communion wafer is literally the body of Christ, but millions of people do. How offensive is it ok to be? Especially for no reason.
The balls...how many parents are having to explain testicles to their little girls because of this? I know the kids have to know sometime but shouldn't that be at the parents' discretion, not at some stoplight behind a redneck??
Feh.
Are you kidding me?! Get thee to the cell phone store, missy!
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