Thursday, May 17, 2007

Brain function

The cheerful woman on my workout tape is fond of reminding us (every damn day the same thing, why doesn't she mix it up a little--hee) that aerobic activity floods the brain with oxygen and is great for improving brain function and memory. If that's the case, why do I feel like MY brain has turned to mush? Shouldn't this blog be awash in wonderful, witty recollections by now? It's been 28 DAYS IN A ROW now with the exercise, and yet, when I try to come up with blog ideas it's all "duh duh duh." Granted, my life at the moment is less than exciting, but I know there are some funny stories in my past. Hopefully that brain stimulation will kick in soon, and I will regale you with stories of the time I...did that one thing, and that other time...yeah, that other time, when...that thing happened TO me. I'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath.

In the meantime, I will just pose a question: if your name was "Dick Slankard," would you emblazon it proudly on your work van (which, thank god, did not have its own set of balls)? Isn't that a terrible name? Poor guy. It just has such an unsavory feel. Yeah, I want my clogged pipes cleaned out by "Dick Slankard." Which reminds me of a funny moment--hey, maybe my brain HAS been stimulated. Years ago I was attending either the opera or ballet with a friend, and we were perusing the section of the program where they list all the financial contributors. One name popped out at me. (I wish to cast no aspersions on this man--I'm sure he's a swell guy, just like Dick Slankard.) I leaned over to my friend, pointed at the name--"Dick Risk"--and whispered, "yeah, I took one of those once." We giggled for quite a while, since, despite the fact that it wasn't THAT many years ago, we were apparently 12. Hee.

I can't wait to see what all this brain stimulation brings up next. Maybe I'll be back tomorrow with a charming story of how I once toilet papered someone's house. Oh, wait...that reminds me of the time my house GOT toilet papered. And shoe polished. (It was a little metal trailor. I was trailor trash for a while in college.) And you know what? That's just not that funny a story. I'll work out extra-hard tonight and see if I can come up with something better.


Sparkling Cipher said...

My boyfriend worked with Richard Whitehead. He said the name and I went, "No, no, no. If he goes by 'Dick,' I do not want to hear it." Everyone calls him Rich. Smart man.

NancyPearlWannabe said...

In New Hampshire we had a state rep whose name was Dick Swett. For real.

lizgwiz said...

spark, yeah, it's really hard to pull off Dick. (So to speak.) Hee.

npw, I guess that would make for good name recognition, but good god, why would you do that to yourself? Eww.

Noelle said...

Yeah, I'm still waiting for that extra energy you're supposed to get from working out on a regular basis. Not happening.

Stinkypaw said...

Glad to see I'm not the only one out of ideas... actually in my case it's to be expected, since I don't oxygen my brain as regularly as you do.

I'm just too busy with everything going on to even think of posting... I'm just trying to catch up a little, since I'm fed up of packing at the moment.

Good luck with the idea boat!

stefanie said...

28 days? Hey, just like rehab! They say it takes 28 days (or is it 21?) to form a new habit, but apparently it takes 28 days to break bad ones as well.

I knew a guy in college whose last name was Wonderlick. I always wondered if women ever asked him to prove he was worthy of his name.

Also, to NPW--Eww!!

lizgwiz said...

noelle, a friend of mine told me he didn't think that happened "once you hit your forties." Not what I wanted to hear, dude!

stinkypaw, I'm hoping the dam bursts soon!

stef, it has sort of been like rehab, now that I think of it. I hope I've made a new habit!

Mary said...

This is totally off topic, but I have bad news, Liz. Today I saw them: truck testicles. Big, fleshy, peach truck testicles. In North Carolina. Ugh. They were attached to a large Ford truck with New Jersey tags, though, so at least it wasn't a local!!! It should be illegal for those things to be displayed in public. Tackiness that extreme should be outlawed!!!

georgeious said...

hey yeah, i know that blockage feeling. i think i was scared into it when i found out about the term "blogarrhea" not so long ago. but honestly, i think i should be happier to have blogarrhea that to come down with a case of blogstipation.

no truck testicle spottings in seattle just yet. oh, but don't think it won't happen up here too. eww.

Red said...

I've never understood why ANYONE named Richard would go by Dick when there are clearly several other nickname options. It's a mystery.