Thursday, February 15, 2007

That's why the kitty is a tramp.

Well, since I may have just nominated myself for the imaginary "most feral cat posts in a single blog" award (thanks for the inspiration, Stefanie), I'll go ahead and complain about Dolly, the stray who's newly tame--or IS she?

She's been absolutely in love with me the last few days, rubbing and purring and rolling over for belly rubs. Letting me give her drops and pills and fluids and generally acting like I'm her new BFF. Then yesterday her beady-eyed boyfriend came by. He shows up occasionally to eat her food and hiss at me, and I assume he's actually a stray because he's the only one of her passle of "suitors" who didn't immediately leave after his..."happy ending." Of COURSE he's the one she likes--the others were well-fed and healthy-looking, obviously from good (if irresponsible--neuter, folks, neuter!) homes, while this one...well, he's beady-eyed, hissy, more than willing to let her support him and completely ungrateful. I've been calling him "Beady-Eyed Boyfriend," but let's just go ahead and call him "McBeady." (Hee.) He hadn't been around much since Dolly's capture and spay ordeal. I assume she told him what happened, and he's leery of hanging around. Or maybe he heard someone say "I wouldn't mind cutting off your balls as well, Mister Hissy." I'm not denying those words might have been spoken. Ahem.

It's been really, really cold here, and I've rigged this elaborate system of boards, blankets and flannel sheets to block the wind and snow from Dolly's favorite sleeping spot. It's a little cave now, more or less. At any rate, some time last night, after midnight, when I last checked on her, McBeady came calling. Now, I do NOT remember giving permission for Dolly to have overnight guests, particularly this one. (Let's just say he's fond of "marking" his territory and I'm NOT so fond of smelling male cat urine.) But when I went out to feed her this morning, she was acting a little oddly. She let me pet her, but wasn't begging me to pet her, if you see the difference. Suddenly, from inside the cave, I heard a hiss. I drew back the sheet to reveal McBeady, snuggled up in the warmest spot, and shooting me daggers with his beady little eyes. Unac-THeptable! He was there STILL when I went home at noon, and Dolly hardly even noticed my presence. What a bitch. I had no idea when I took her in FROM THE COLD and fed her and tended her and ended her constant baby-making that she was one of those girls who ignores her girlfriends the minute there's a guy around. Sheesh.

Well, since it's cold, and they are snuggling up together for warmth, I'll let him stay just one more night. Tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 50s, and I'm chasing his beady-eyed, stinkin' self right outa there! Yeah, I'm so tough. At the very least, though, he'd better keep an eye on his balls.


Stinkypaw said...

Some girls!... As soon as there's a guy around they drop you like a hot potato! That's not what you call "a friend"! ...But I must say it is nice of you to "tolerate" McBeady "one more night" ;-)

stefanie said...

OK, you get the award not only for "Most Feral Cat Posts," but also for "ONLY Blog I Can Think of That Talks about Dirty Cat Sex."

I'm not sure if this is an award you'll take proudly or reluctantly. The choice is yours, I suppose. ;-)

3carnations said...

Aw, since she lives outside I would just be glad she found a friend!

Incidentally, even neutered cats...err...get the urge. I adopted a cat from a cattery and she was pregnant. I adopted out the kittens, and did not get her spayed because she was pretty old and the time, and I knew I wouldn't be letting her around any unneutered cats. One of the families who adopted a kitten called a year later and needed to "get rid of him". I took him back. They said he had been neutered. The next time the mommy cat went in heat he was all over her. I freaked out and took him to the vet. He was indeed neutered, and they told me neutering takes away the ability, but not the urge. How frustrating for him. It was pretty disturbing to watch, too.

lizgwiz said...

stinkypaw, that's what I'm sayin'! I thought Dolly and I were pals. Hee.

stef, I think I'll take it proudly. What the heck. ;

3car, it's the spraying that really bugs me. I could live with him hissing and staring at me. But phew! Unneutered cat pee is the WORST. Some of my neutered boys make those same ineffectual efforts from time to time--on the kittens, and sometimes on each other. (I don't judge. Hee.)

don't call me MA'AM said...

I don't think I've ever read a Dirty Cat Sex post before. ;-)

Eww. And the spraying. EWWW.

Poppy Cede said...

This seems like a fitting post upon which to leave this comment. :)

Liz, your icon is ready but I need you to send me an email (at the bottom of the post). New blogger doesn't show our emails in our profiles.

guinness girl said...

Hahahahaha! What a floozy Dolly is! Also, Liz, I will soooo not be surprised if you post a month or two from now about how you've decided to adopt McBeady and how he's become quite sweet. Oh, speaking of McBeady - hilarious name. xoxo

lizgwiz said...

dcmm, I've been spraying the back of my house down with odor neutralizer. Phew.

poppy, thanks. Silly new blogger.

gg, he may never become sweet, but he may definitely become neutered! Hee.