Sweet dreams...not so much

As I head off into the weekend (finally!) let me just leave you with this synopsis of the disturbing dream I had last night. I was at a party somewhere and ran into Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Wait--that's not the disturbing part! Tom and I had a bit of an argument re: Scientology, me calling it bunk and him defending it vigorously. The conversation ended with some ominous words from Tom about how I would soon know the truth, and he stormed off (Katie in tow, presumably). The party went on, and a little later in the evening we all suddenly got a very strange feeling something was happening outside and went to the door. There was, coming from the sky, a shower of light, like thousands of little tiny meteorites floating to earth. As the pieces of light reached the ground, people began being sucked up into the sky and disappearing. I somehow knew instantly that this was some sort of Scientology Rapture-type thing, and began freaking out. "He was right! Omigosh, he was right!" Suddenly I began flying upward, but then stopped and slowly came back down. (Okay, that part was sort of like Charlie and Grandpa Joe in the fizzy lifting drink machine, I now realize. Nothing like hidden pop culture references in your Rapture dream.) There were still plenty of people milling around, but I quickly realized that none of them could see me or hear me, and I couldn't make a physical connection with anyone or anything. This limbo-like state of existence seemed to go on and on, and I became certain that this was my fate for eternity, and started to cry. It seemed like such a pointless end to it all, you know? Suddenly I started upward again and began to hear a deep, sonorous voice (L. Ron Hubbard perhaps?) telling me that I had been foolish not to believe the truth that had been given me (from Tom Cruise--hee!) and as punishment I would not be allowed to enter the next state of existence, which apparently was glorious and wonderful (and where Tom and Katie were already living it up, no doubt, with John Travolta and Kelly Preston and Leah Remini and Jenna Elfman--are there any non-celebrity Scientologists?), but since I had basically been a good person (I knew taking in all those kittens would pay off!) I would be allowed to live another lifetime, but this time I better get it right! That's when I woke up.

So what the hell does THAT mean?