Thursday, January 22, 2009

PSA

I don't think I actually have any regular male readers, much less any who are out there online dating, but just in case this makes it through the interweb tubes to an appropriate audience: I would like to issue a plea on behalf of all female online daters.

I've discussed before some of the things that I personally hate in an online profile--bad grammar, shirtless pictures, pictures of cars/motorcycles. (Picture of you with a cuddly puppy or kitty, however? Bigtime bonus points!) But there's one thing that squicks me out most of all, and I'm quite sure I'm not alone in this.

I'm squicked out by sex. Not having it, mind you, under the right circumstances... but hearing about it.

I don't want to see it in your summary, not even...no, PARTICULARLY if you try to dress it up as "love-making." Ewww. (And speaking of "ewww," I really, REALLY don't need to hear about your, as one guy put it, "well-hung package." Dude!)

I don't want to see it listed under "6 things I can't live without." Not once, and especially not TWICE. (Sex, my motorcycle, heavy metal, beer, oxygen [and oh, aren't you clever there], SEX.)

You're a GUY. We KNOW you want sex. It's a given. We're really looking to find out what ELSE you're into. Work with us here.

Thank you.

9 comments:

Noelle said...

If you can get at least one dude to read thins, I think you are doing the world a lovely public service.

Stinkypaw said...

You're right you're not alone in this!

nancypearlwannabe said...

Do dudes really put that in their profile?! I would be horrified too.

greenduckiesgirl said...

Seriously? That's just wrong. Not really that surprising but still just wrong.

6 things I can't live without: books, my cats, my camera, my laptop, scrapbooking and my friends.

Sauntering Soul said...

OMG, this post is so funny! But guys, if you are reading this, she's absolutely right. Putting stuff like this in a dating profile is so, so wrong.

Stefanie said...

Amen, sister.

And yes, NPW, they do. Ew.

thecoconutdiaries said...

Yeah, these are the same guys who have the following gift-buying philosophy: Buy something you would want for yourself. This is why their ex-girlfriends have lawnmowers and VIP tickets to strip clubs.

thecoconutdiaries said...

Yeah, these are the same guys who have the following gift-buying philosophy: Buy something you would want for yourself. This is why their ex-girlfriends have lawnmowers and VIP tickets to strip clubs.

flurrious said...

Once some guy in a bar informed me that he doesn't "make love to women," he makes love "with women," and he was making his version of a sexy face when he said it. I'm not sure he was expecting me to crack up laughing and spit my drink on him, but, hey, players take their chances.