I might be a wee bit depressed.

I fell asleep on the couch last night pretty early, then woke up around midnight, wide awake, as usual. I stayed on the couch for a couple of hours catching up with Rachel and Keith, since I had rudely fallen asleep on them earlier, and at one point, I thought I heard something outside. However, since I was at the time trapped beneath a living blanket of kitty flesh, I waited for my show to be over, then got up to move to the bed and take a peek outside to see what was up.

There it was, in the road--the lifeless body of a small animal. "Please don't let it be Dolly!" It wasn't, thank goodness, but it was the big orange stray I've seen in and around my yard occasionally, and whom I've always suspected to be related in some way to Dolly and her kittens. I carried him into my yard, wrapped him in a plastic bag, and laid him in the flower bed until the morning, when I could call dead animal pickup. (Wrong time of year to try and bury him in that cold, frozen ground.)

Then I went to bed and started crying. It all seems so futile sometimes...you use the gifts and tools God gave you to cobble together an existence the best you can...and then, for all your pains, you end up dead in the middle of the road, in the middle of the cold, cold night.

Yeah...maybe a tad depressed.

Don't worry, though...the world didn't seem QUITE so bleak come morning. (Does it ever?) The holidays are nearly here and gone. 2008 is nearly gone, and 2009 has got to be better, right? I've got rehearsals starting soon...things will be looking up. The foolishly eternal optimist in me stubbornly refuses to admit defeat. Heh.

So, what else is going on? Well, I've been in the midst of another little flurry of online male attention. I've talked to 3 guys in the last few days. (Plus Obama Guy came to church on Sunday morning to hear me sing...I still think we're destined just to be friends, though.) So, am I optimistic about any of these guys? Not so much.

We've got Guy #1--smart, rabid environmentalist, seems to be a decent guy, but can't get past my many cats. Just can't. Keeps apologizing for it. Eh, I tell him...it happens. Big props for admitting it straight out and not just pulling the old disappearing act. We're still communicating...I think we might become very casual friends. I'm cool with that--we hadn't met in person yet, so I have no reason to think there would have been the necessary physical "spark" anyway, right?

Guy #2--I think he might be certifiably insane. He's done some interesting things, been some interesting places, really REALLY wants to meet me, but...he gave me his number on Friday. I told him I wasn't sure how my weekend would play out, but if I got a chance, I'd call. I got busy and didn't call, but was planning to Monday night. Then I got a very curt email message Monday afternoon suggesting I jump in the ice-cold river. Literally. That was the whole message. I responded with a "well, I WAS planning to call you tonight, but I won't be able to, with my fingers so cold from the icy water." (Hee.) Since then he's been apologizing nonstop, trying to explain how he's just become so jaded from his online experiences, pleading that he's not really like that, and if I would only agree to meet in person, so I could see what a wonderful person he is...blah, blah, blah. Nuts, right? I told him I wasn't comfortable exploring anything further with someone who would so quickly and harshly respond to a potential slight. He's still trying to persuade me. Umm...whatever, dude.

Guy #3--tall, nice-looking, seems smart enough...but wants to know if I would enjoy being sent poetic "erotic stories" from potential suitors, as apparently he's had "mixed reactions" to this in the past. My short answer? "No." My longer answer? Involved also telling him I would most likely post snippets of any such "stories" received on my blog, for the amusement of my friends. Heh.

I know, I know...you're all upset with me for tipping my hand before I got the love poetry to share with you. My apologies.

Alert readers may be wondering what happened to the "Male Me." Well, join the club...he disappeared into the ether, and I have absolutely NO idea why. Asshole. (Unless he's dead...in which case I'm very sorry for calling him an asshole. Don't take that out on my karma, please, universe.)

That's about all that's going on. I have been and still am dealing with car repairs (NO fun, the week before Christmas--goodbye, Christmas bonus), so I think my family may come here on Christmas Day, for the first time ever. Don't know how that will go. I'm trying to imagine us all comfortably enjoying a meal in my tiny house, with its limited seating...maybe we'll just eat out. What's open on Christmas, anyway?

I did receive a nice package of goodies from New Guy today. I got a little misty, until I opened the card. "Fondly, New Guy." FONDLY? I know he is trying not to lead me on in any way, but geez. For the record, I boldly signed HIS card, "Love, Liz." Heh. Still, it's nice to know he still thinks of me. FONDLY.