Thursday, November 20, 2008

The ultimate humiliation

I received NO speed-dating matches. Now, it's not like I felt any particular spark with any of them, but still...not ONE of those losers wanted to get to know me? How nice for my ego.

My friend, on the other hand, was contacted by all but one of them... the one holdout, of course, being the one she really wanted. The true irony here is that I only went because she didn't want to go alone, and I was being a good friend. See where that gets me? Rejected by losers.

I'm also remembering what it was like to go out dancing with this particular friend, "back in the day." Now, mind you, this is far enough "back" that I, too, was pretty smokin' hot, but still...she ALWAYS got asked to dance, first and most often. One night, she and I and another friend went out, and agreed that the one asked to dance first would be bought a shot by the other two, with the caveat that the two "losers" would get to pick the shot. She was asked right away, of course, and demanded her winning shot. So, with her out of earshot, we went to the bar and asked the bartender, what's the nastiest shot you can think of? "A Prairie Fire," came the answer. And what's in that? "Equal parts tequila and tabasco." Perfect! She slammed it down, got a hilarious (to us) look on her face, and just managed to croak out, "What WAS that?"

Of course, being uber-popular at a bar isn't always without its own punishment. She was purchased shots and drinks by so many guys attempting to impress her that she finished the evening puking in the backseat of her own car. Heh.

Another time, she was determined to show us that she, too, knew the sting of rejection. "I'm going to go ask some guy to dance that I KNOW will turn me down." She surveyed the scene, picked a guy who was literally knee-deep in girls clamoring for his attention, marched over, and asked him to dance. He said no, thanks. She came back, gloating a bit. "See? I get turned down sometimes." Fast forward five or ten minutes. Here comes the guy. "I feel so bad for saying no...would you like to dance?" Hee!

So, I guess what I'm saying is...I should have known not to go speed-dating with this friend! And, if I want to massage my own bruised ego a bit, I can tell myself that all the guys knew we were there together, and just didn't want to pick both of us, for fear that it might cause problems down the road. Yeah, that's it...if she hadn't been there, I'd have been the most popular girl in the room! (And yes, I know...denial is not a river in Egypt. Heh.)

Now, let me just say, it's hardly her fault that she's gorgeous AND outgoing and funny. And, truthfully, being the most popular girl at the ball doesn't always work out so well, long term. She's had a couple of really bad marriages, and is currently walking the challenging road of single motherhood with a precocious young daughter. I'm proud of the job she's doing, and I don't begrudge her the attention.

But couldn't ONE of those guys have picked me, too? Wah!


3carnations said...

They knew you were out of their league. :)

flurrious said...

When I did the single girl bar thing, I also had a friend who was insanely popular, but like your friend, she's had really bad luck long-term. Her husbands and boyfriends didn't like that she turned out to be a regular person instead of Perpetually Happy Fun Girl. This is why I let all men know up front that I am going to be difficult; it weeds out the weak ones.

Catheroo said...

I have a friend like yours. She was never without a boyfriend and she depended so much on the attention of men that whenever she was without one, she was kind of lost. This might not be how your friend is, but I always was reminded that I was more in touch with my true self than she was. Does that make sense?

And I did the 10-minute dating thing...not with said friend, but I also did not get many matches. The one thing that speed dating *was* good for was learning how to make conversation quickly, and meeting some very quirky guys.

Stefanie said...

I used to have a friend like that. Then she got married and moved to a remote suburb and I never heard from her again. That doesn't really have anything at all to do with your story, though, does it?

So. Speed dating. Should I do it? It's at a hotel in the 'burbs. Is there any chance ANYONE interesting will go??

lizgwiz said...

3car, good answer, good answer! *clap,clap*

flurrious, I'm reminded of "When Harry Met Sally," when Sally says "I'm difficult," and Harry reassures her, "but in a good way." I'm sure you're also difficult in a good way!

Catheroo, I do have some female friends like that (though not this particular one) and I definitely would never want to be that way myself. I'll take quality over quantity any day, even if I die alone. ;)

stef, go for it. The actual dating part of it is pretty painless, and you never know, right? Just don't take along a really hot friend. ;)

The Coconut Diaries said...

I feel your pain. In my sorority there was this girl who was stunningly, painfully gorgeous and of course she was nice as hell. One night we were all going out and she said "Mind if I come, too?". I had to bite my tongue to keep from shouting NOOOO!

Stinkypaw said...

We've all had that girlfriend that made us "envious" (even if we weren't really) and no matter how old we are rejection sucks no matter how we look at it. I know it won't be any consolation, but I like you! ;-)

Noelle said...

Next time, you need to find someone who looks like you, but slightly less attractive. That way, the men have a point of comparison, and they will choose you. It's true, I read it in a book.

And thanks for reminding me why not to go speed dating.

Whiskeymarie said...

I had a friend like that in my early 20's. She was:
*Gorgeous, great bod
*Funny and outgoing

Argh. I was always the "friend" that the dorks thought they would have a chance with just because I was with Aleks (yes, she even had a cool name). Needless to say, I wasn't too upset when we "drifted apart" and I could go back to not being treated like a leper.

Tony B. Loney said...

We've talked about this. You know better. Not that I, a serial monogamous gay man who is in the LAST relationship he ever intends to have, could understand. But, as per your usual self, you handle it with grace and charm.

And remember, we shared rejection one night during a dance contest at a club that was called "The Palladium," where we were clearly better than anyone else. No one can hand dance like you.

gorillabuns said...

I've ALWAYS been the wingman. Usually if someone asked me to dance, it was 1:45am.