Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I don't get how this works.

This online dating thing. Why do I go days and weeks without even a profile view, then get contacted by four guys all in the space of a single hour? I think maybe flentyofpish rotates the profiles around, and eventually you come back to the top, or something. That's all I can think of to explain my inbox yesterday.

So, yes...there might be some interesting new stories in the days to come. Or not. But I'm sure you're all tired of election-related blog posts, so I will spare you there. Though there is plenty I could say about, never mind.

My inbox.

The first message came from a man who is actually articulate and funny! I know! He used the word "erudite" correctly! In a flentyofpish email! Am I done with the exclamation marks? Yes...I think so. But it was exciting. Heh. He seemed very impressed with MY profile, which only goes to further prove how intelligent he is, right?

Here's a snippet from his first email:

So nice to see an erudite profile with nary a "Me and him" to be found. If I see one more confusion over there/their/they're I may just lose all hope and curl up in a ball.

May I add, that your pic is pretty easy on the old peepers, as well.*

*Apparently I have morphed into some 1940's gumshoe tonight.

Seems promising, no? We have exchanged a couple more messages, and he doesn't get any less literate with time. Heh.

Then I received another, from a 62-year-old widower. At first it made me laugh out loud (though not in a good way), then it just made me want to cry. It did contain this little gem, though, which I think BFF and I will be using for some time to come:

"your profile stuck out at me like a thumb"

Bwaaaa! I think I snorted as I read it out loud to BFF. Then, sadly, the message became about his desire to not die all alone, completely friendless, and I just got sad. Not sad enough to go out with him, mind you, but sad nonetheless. There's just something very poignant about someone all alone, who never planned to be alone, but who is now trolling dating sites, trying to find someone interested in his offer to warm them up a quick bite at his apartment, then maybe search the internet or watch TV with him. Okay, as I type it out, it sounds as much creepy as poignant, but it really came across as sad to me. Maybe I'm just premenstrual.

Then came another message from a guy who I would probably find interesting if I wasn't already enamored with the literary stylings of Guy #1, so I think I'll put him on the back burner for a bit. He did make an appropriate "Deliverance" reference, so he gets bonus points for that.

And, last but not least, there was a simple winky emoticon from Guy #4, who, of course, is the one who I would find most attractive if I was going simply on looks. Which I'm not. Yet. I mean, EVER. Heh.

And, because it's always feast or famine around here, next week I'm going speed-dating with a friend. Only because she really wanted to go, but refused to do it alone. So, like a good wingwoman, I agreed to go, too. I've done it before a couple of times, and I found it equal parts painless and fruitless, but...what the heck. I agreed to do it, and I will.

That's about all the news from LizLand. Cross your fingers that maybe one of these guys will at least buy me a friggin' cup of coffee.


nancypearlwannabe said...

I love that you're holding out for a cup of coffee. Stick to those guns, Liz! :)

The first guy does sound pretty promising, so good luck on your date. Can't wait to hear (read) all about it!

3carnations said...

Sounds promising. I always thought speed dating sounded interesting, but I ended up getting married before I could try it. Heh.

Sauntering Soul said...

Bachelor #1 sounds great! Bachelor #2 sounds not as great as Bachelor #1! Poor guy though. He does sound equally creepy and sad.

Noelle said...

It's like a movie! "You had me at erudite!"

veronica said...

hold out for only hot coffee.

Stefanie said...

I so hope Guy #1 doesn't disappoint.

Also, I got "winked" at today by a guy who, for "Favorite things" wrote, "My favorite color is blue. I also enjoy watching certain shows on TV."

Certain shows! Wow! I too enjoy certain shows! And I've always thought blue was nice... Surely we're a perfect match!

(I think some of these guys could use the help of the dude who left the first comment on my post two days ago... You know--that profile-writing service?)

3carnations said...

Certain shows? Stefanie, don't let him get away. It's better than "no shows in particular"! :-p

Stinkypaw said...

The first guy reads like he should be blogging and we would join in his distaste of their/there/they're. Ah. Reads promising for sure. Enjoy the coffee.

flurrious said...

I'm afraid I'm going to have to picture Bachelor #2 as Grandpa Simpson. Otherwise, it's too sad.

gorillabuns said...

Gumshoe? Hell, don't make me go and look it up. What is it?

Tony B. Loney said...

You're going to do speed-dating? You've DONE speed-dating? How could I have missed this? Did you tell me? Was I high? I've never even talked to someone who has done it. Lawsy, tell me about it. What other secrets are you hiding from me?

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