Thursday, January 31, 2008

Maybe they ARE from Mars.

Thank you for all your thoughtful comments yesterday. I particularly appreciate the offers to kick some New Guy ass on my behalf. It's great to have the full support of the blogosphere.

We did some talking last night, New Guy and I, at my behest, and my conclusion is that I just don't understand men. (No big surprise there, for anyone familiar with my dating history. Hee.) I mean, I completely understand the stressors he's responding to--homesickness, missing his kids, job tension, feeling adrift in a new town. I just don't get why he responds the way he does--by pushing me away. After much discussion, with a few tears (from me) and even more laughter (from us both), he admitted he's been focused too much on himself, and he needs to take my feelings into consideration. So, we'll see.

So, emotionally I feel, if not better, exactly, at least...a little more at ease. I said my piece, and there's nothing more I can do at the moment, if I'm not willing to just remove myself from the situation, and I'm not, yet. There are so many things about New Guy that I really, really like...and that's so rare for me, so...I can hang in there a while. I'm not particularly anxious to put myself back out there. A few days ago a friend who's been exploring match.com sent me an email she received from a possible suitor, including the words "just went out and got me a new truck." "What," she asked, "am I doing out here?" I feel you, sister.

Physically, however...I feel like crap. What felt, yesterday, like a large brick of phlegm sitting in my chest, has begun to break up and move around. Which is good, of course, long-term, but now I look and sound sick, so every single person I've spoken to today, both in person and on the phone, has started the conversation with "Boy, you sound terrible." Thanks, I feel terrible, too.

I walked over to the Kwik-Mart a few minutes ago to pick up some incense, and Apu (not his real name, but come on...how can I help it?) got all friendly with the chatting. The only other time Apu has gotten friendly like that was a day when I had been told by every one who saw me, all day, "Wow, you look tired." Apparently Apu digs chicks who look like crap. I can go in there looking and feeling like a million bucks, and he will barely look up long enough to ring up my purchase. See...men=unfathomable.

In other news, it has begun to snow, and they're telling us we might get 6-10 inches this afternoon. And then tomorrow it will be 50 degrees and the snow will be history, so we just "have to make it through today." Seriously, one of the weather forecasters said that. Gotta love living in Oklahoma.

I'm just hoping that it accumulates fast enough that we might get to go home early today. I need a nap. Or maybe I should skip the nap and make a play for Apu instead. Heh.

11 comments:

nancypearlwannabe said...

That's great that you got things out there and New Guy realized he was being insensitive. Chris gets like that sometimes too and once I point it out it takes him a few hours of thinking and then he'll apologize and make a better effort at not being a jerk.

Sarah said...

Glad things are looking up with New Guy--don't let him retreat into his Man Cave now that he's taking you into account!

And if you're feeling like crap, it's definitely a "snow day" kinda day. Feel better soon!

Mariposa said...

Men are really from Mars...they simply don't have any idea where we are coming from...eh? Anyway, I hope things get better and that YOU get better soon.

Noelle said...

I think that new guy is related to the guy I went out with a couple of times. He was new to the area and didn't know anyone, and we were getting along well. Then, he stood me up for a date and when I emailed him, he sent me back an email that said, "I'm really lonely here, I shouldn't be looking to date anyone now."

Isn't that like, exactly when you want to date someone? Thankfully, I wasn't that into him by the time I got the email, but it is mystifying.

3carnations said...

I'm glad you guys talked it through. I hope things get better.

You get to go home early when it snows? Are you sure you aren't a teacher? (or a student) :)

gorillabuns said...

Steer clear of Apu - unless he gets himself a new truck.

Stefanie said...

Oh good. I'm glad you two talked it out and you let him know how you're feeling. Good luck to you. I know, since you are often just like me ;-) that it's hard for you to find anyone you actually WANT to spend any massive amounts of time with. The fact that you still like this guy is a good sign, and I hope it means he's a keeper.

I haven't written much about this, but I'm back online (sort of--not too actively or enthusiastically), and my favorite so far is the loserish looking guy who "winked" at me, but whose profile outright said, "I don't respond to winks, so if you're interested, step up and send me an email!" Um, hello, you don't respond to winks yourself, but you still send them?? WHY did you wink at me??? Men=unfathonable indeed.

Also, feel better soon!

Sauntering Soul said...

Sometimes men just need a good swift kick in the butt. Glad you talked things out!

Hot Brazilian's tea isn't helping? You must really have something bad. Hope you're feeling better soon.

L Sass said...

Oh New Guy, why are you so weird JUST LIKE ALL OTHER MEN? You're right to keep your guard up a bit until you see that he's treating you the way you want to be treated. I hope he gets it. i am rooting for you, New Guy!

Mary said...

Liz, how much snow did you get? Hope you got to enjoy some quiet time with a warm cup of tea. Or whisky. Whichever works.

As for NewGuy, maybe you can tell him that it's okay to retreat to the cave occasionally as long as he doesn't stay there for longer than 24 hours. Maybe he can invite you into the cave occasionally, ya know. Just to visit. ;)

lizgwiz said...

npw, I hope New Guy follows through with his promise. And it's good to know other guys do this stuff, too!

sarah, I don't mind an occasional retreat--it's just when the retreat gets extended that I take it personally.

mariposa, it's a wonder any relationship involving both a man and a woman ever works. Hee.

noelle, yeah, I don't get that, either. You could be showing him the town, if nothing else.

3car, we don't have an official snow day policy. Just an understanding boss who won't make us wait 'til rush hour if it's bad.

gorillabuns, hee! But what if he slips me free stuff from the Kwik-Mart?

stef, SO hard to find men who interest me. I prefer to think of myself as discriminating, rather than picky. ;)

sauntering, oh, I think the tea DID help. I credit it with breaking up that brick of phlegm much more quickly than usual. :)

lsass, you always hope this will be the man that's different, I guess. Hee.

Mary, we ended up with a couple of inches, and it stayed off the streets, just like I like it. Pretty, but no driving hassles.