Monday, August 11, 2008

Pudge is starting to look really good to me.

Who was it that said "the more I know of men, the more I like my dog"? Some wise person--Mark Twain? Will Rogers? Paris Hilton?

At any rate, I had a coffee date this weekend, and was all ready to post about it...and you know, I think I'll still tell the tale as I had planned to tell it. Then I'll tell you the postscript. How's that?

So, this is a completely new guy. I decided that before my various memberships expire (soon), I would screw up my courage and contact at least one guy. So I sent a quick email to a guy with similar interests and very pretty eyes. "You have very pretty eyes." He responded, we exchanged a round of emails, I gave him my phone number, he called Friday night.

Okay, I will interject into my story a bit that he called just a few minutes after I finally returned Mr. Ordinary's call from earlier in the week. I mentioned to Mr. Ordinary that I had a pickin' party to go to Saturday night, and he mentioned several times how fun that sounded. I KNOW he wanted me to invite him, and I thought about it, but I didn't want to commit myself to an evening with someone I haven't met face-to-face yet, and also...I was kind of thinking Mr. Blue Eyes might call, and wanted to keep my options open. Bad dating karma on my part? Time will tell.

So, Mr. Blue Eyes called, we talked a bit, and he suggested meeting for coffee Saturday evening. I told him I had to attend a party later in the evening, but earlier would be good. (Of course, I'm thinking it gives me an out if the date is bad, and if the date is good, I'll invite him along.) We planned for 6:00.

Saturday at 5:30, he calls. His ex hasn't picked up his son 'bout we change to 6:30, just in case. Fine. A few minutes later, he calls again. Still no sign of the ex, despite his repeated calls and texts to her. I suggest that we just keep things open for a bit, and that he call me when she's come and gone. Fine. He calls a few minutes later--she's gone, and he can be at the designated meeting place in 15 minutes. It'll take me just a bit longer, I say, but not much. Fine.

I get there. He's already there, seated, drinking coffee and eating cookies. I sit down, thinking that as soon as we've said our initial hellos, he'll offer to get ME something to drink. Doesn't happen. We talk for a bit, his phone buzzes in his pocket, he pulls it out to read a text. A lengthy text, apparently. I excuse myself to get something to drink while he finishes reading. I wait in line to order, wait in line for my iced tea, return to the table 2-3 minutes later--he's texting back. Okay.

Finally, he's done. His ex, he explains, is pissed off that he was pissed off that she was late. Great, I think--ten minutes in and we've got ex issues. We chat for a few more minutes, he reads a couple more texts in that time. Nice. He asks what time it is, I tell him, and ask jokingly if he's on a deadline or something. "Yes, I'm meeting a friend for a movie across the street. You did say you were going somewhere later, right?" Yes, yes I did. Of course, MY later plans don't involve an exact starting time--I was willing to be somewhat flexible, but...whatever. He gave himself a backup plan just like I did, I guess. (Dating karma bites back?) He says it's nice to meet me, he's got to run, "we'll talk soon." Uh-huh. Length of date, start to finish, half an hour.

I went on to my party, drank beer, and regaled them with tales from the dating world.

So, at this point in the post, I planned a little poll:

This guy is:

a) a jerk
b) rude
c) a rude jerk

'Cause certainly one of those is true, right?

Then this morning, I open my email to see one from him. I assume he's giving me the big brush-off, and I can't wait to sting him with the witty reply I have planned. Something along the lines of "in the future you should keep your phone in your pants and buy the girl a coffee."

Then I read the email. The skirmish with the ex started as we sat there has evolved into a full-scale war. He had told me that she was moving to L.A. and leaving the kid with him--he was quite happy about this--but now she's decided she wants to take the kid to L.A. and they're in for an all-out custody battle. He doesn't think he needs to involve anyone else in that, so he's going to focus on his kid, and he's taking himself off the dating market until it's settled. He enjoyed meeting me, and wishes me luck.

Well, I certainly DON'T want to be involved in anything like that, having just been involved in something almost exactly like that, so...I take the high road, wish him well, and thank him for his honesty.


I hate it when the universe takes a dump on my righteous indignation. Speaking of which, do you want to hear Mr. Ordinary's excuse for not having come to see my show last weekend? He was doing a favor for his mother...and, gets better. His mother does dog rescue, and needed someone to drive an adopted dog to its new home in Kansas. So, that's where he was. HOW CAN I BE MAD AT THAT?! Damn you, universe!!!!

To cap off my weekend, a friend called last night to invite me to his annual birthday bash in a couple of weeks. What's wrong with that? Oh, and of itself. I'm happy to celebrate his continued presence on the planet with a good party. Only...this is the party that I took New Guy to last year, on our first date, just makes me a little sad.

Ukrainian Guy hasn't responded to my last email, by the by. And with that, I think I'm thisclose to giving up on dating for another decade or so. 'Cause the more I know of men, the more I like my dog. Paris is right. Heh.


Melliferous Pants said...

Blue Eyes may be dedicated to his kid but he's still a rude jerk. We obviously live in a technology saturated society but how difficult is it to put down your f'ing phone for THIRTY minutes? And not buying coffee? LAME!

The last date I went on was with an architect who had coffee in his hand when I arrived, stood in line with me and watched me dig around in my purse for change to buy my coffee. In spite of the last sentence, I'm really not a high maintenance just seems cheap to not buy a girl a freaking cup of COFFEE.

I'm considering switching from men to zombies.

Stinkypaw said...

No matter what, that guy was a rude jerk.

See my skeptical nature thinks he's using that message incident as an exit...

As for Mr. Ordinary, if you haven't flushed him yet, then maybe you should at least meet him, give the man a chance or at least see if he's that "ordinary" in person!

Sauntering Soul said...

The first date I went on post-divorce had me shaking I was so nervous. It had been 10 years since I had been on a first date.

The guy invited me to a VERY inexpensive deli for a sandwich which was sort of okay with me and sort of not since it was on a Saturday night for dinner and I thought it kind of screamed 'cheap' on his part. Little did I know....

When the check came he told me how much I owed but if I wanted to add tip I could and it would be more. WTF? It was a $5 ham and cheese sandwich dude. I didn't even get chips with it and had I known I would be paying for it I would have!

Anonymous said...

You got off easy on that one. That guy is nuts and his ex is nuts-er, so consider that bullet dodged.

Noelle said...

Yeah, I'd say the guy is a jerk. And giving up on dating feels so good. I keep swearing I'm going to do that, and then I realize that I haven't actually been dating in the first place...

lizgwiz said...

pants, I don't consider myself high maintenance, either...and generally offer to pay, but yeah...when HE asked and it's JUST coffee? Cheap.

stinky, oh definitely there's still some rudeness and just takes the joy out of ragging on him when he has a sob story.

ss, He definitely should have bought the sandwich. Cheap bastard.

coconuts, oh yeah...definitely better to get that all out upfront.

noelle, maybe you should get a big dog, too. Cats are great, but a big dog is a better snuggler. Then you won't need a man at all. ;)

nancypearlwannabe said...

Liz, I give you credit for trying. I will never understand the ways of men, single or not.

flurrious said...

Coffee guy has taken himself off the market? On behalf of the single women of the world: yay!

But Mr. Ordinary is starting to sound kind of good. He drove a dog to his new home! That by itself puts him ahead of Mr. Text Message.

Tony B. Loney said...

Men are jerks, and I am one. Gay and all, but still...

lizgwiz said...

npw, you may soon have to give me credit for giving up. ;)

flurrious, no great loss, I know. Although I will least he emailed me. (Even if he was totally lying.) Most guys just disappear.

tony, you can pass. Hee.

Stefanie said...

I am way late to weigh in here, but yeah: totally a jerk. Argh.

Also, why are you having all these phone conversations with Mr. Ordinary but haven't yet met him??? That would drive me nuts. I don't want a phone friend. I want to meet and see if there's chemistry, and if not, move along. This is what I've learned in way too much experience with online dating. Cut to the chase, I say.

3carnations said...

I'm going with rude for Mr. Blue Eyes.

And Mr. Ordinary...he's looking better and better. I think YOU need to invite HIM somewhere soon. :)