Life changes

Or not.

First, let's talk facebook. Yes, it's kind of fun; no, it hasn't changed my life. I've gotten a couple of nice messages from people I haven't seen in a while, so that's good. I searched my high school graduating class, and discovered that, on the whole, we're not particularly hip. Only six of my roughly 250 class members have profiles. A couple I didn't even know. I sent "friend" requests to two, including the guy I had a HUGE crush on in junior high and high school. And yes, that made me FEEL like a junior high girl. ("Omigod, what if he doesn't "friend" me back?")

Now, we did have a very (very) casual friendship in our post-graduation days, before he moved away, and our mothers generally keep us vaguely aware of each other's lives (in that small town "everybody's mother still knows everybody's mother" kind of way), so it's not like I haven't seen him since high school. I saw him and his siblings out dining together in Hometown a few years ago, and was struck with this thought: "I think he's probably gay."

Well, it turns out I'm right, and this is interesting for a couple of reasons. A) it proves my fag hag tendencies go back even further than I thought! and B) out of three siblings, two are now openly gay (one male, one female). (The youngest boy is married with children, but truthfully, he's the one I would have pegged first if I was listening to my gaydar.) Genetics, methinks? And both the gay children were really good athletes back in the day...which enforces one stereotype (lesbians are athletic) and counteracts another (all gay boys love musical theatre and showtunes).

And none of that really has anything to do with anything, I just thought it was interesting. You may beg to differ. Heh.

What else is going on? Nothing, really...just inching ever closer to giving up on dating. By which I suppose I mostly mean "giving up on internet dating," but really...what other kind is there anymore?

Seriously--where do people of a certain age meet, if not online? Once you stop meeting people through school, and age out of the bar-hopping lifestyle...what are the options? I can't even remember the last time I met an available man in "real life."

Work? I don't meet guys through my work. And I work for a very small company, so there's not exactly a dating pool of co-workers, either, if I did want to "shit where I eat," so to speak. I have exactly one single male co-worker, and despite our constant barrage of off-color jokes, well...he's more like a brother, I guess. A sometimes aggravating brother, with polar opposite political views from mine, who likes to stand behind the bathroom door and bang it when you come out, hoping to elicit a small shriek, but whom nevertheless can always be counted on to help with lawn mowing and the lifting of heavy furniture when needed. But even if I could put aside all that, I could never date a man who refers to his ex-wife as "lardass" and "butterball" on a regular basis. No one who uses that kind of language is ever getting an upclose look at MY ass. Heh.

Church? Well, not so far. It's a very small church, and before you all start chiming in unison with "but what about Cute Church Guy?" let's just put the kibosh on that. CCG was never anything more than a silly fantasy. I have NO reason to think that he is in any way attracted to me, or ever will be. And, since he's pretty much the only single guy there, I think church is not an option for meeting someone. Oh sure, I could go to a bigger church, I suppose...but selecting a church based on the number of possible single guys in attendance...well, that seems a bit sleazy, doesn't it?

Extracurricular activities? Possible, I suppose...but I've been doing theatre and making music with mostly the same people for the last 20 years, so I think all those possibilities were tapped out long ago. (And yes, of course, some "tapping" was done. Hee.) I suppose I should try "taking classes," isn't that what "they" say? Well, I do consider that occasionally, but the classes I think I might find interesting don't seem rife with dating possibilities. I mean...do single guys take pottery or stained glass classes? Maybe so...but it certainly doesn't seem like they would do so in droves, and it might take a drove or two for me to find one I like. (Yes, I'm picky. That's not going to change.)

Blind dates arranged by friends? Well, it's been years since any of my friends even attempted to fix me up. I don't know if they've given up on me, just don't know any single guys, or just don't want to inflict me upon the single guys they do know! (What's up with that, friends?)

While shopping? Seriously, dating columnists love to advocate meeting guys at the grocery or hardware stores. But does that really happen? Should I try to flirt in the assorted hardware aisle: "Oh hey...I'm looking for a screw. Could you help me out with that?" (And should that be accompanied by the batting of eyelashes or not?) The last guy who asked me for advice in the produce aisle was an elderly widower needing help with brussels sprouts, and while I very much wanted to go home with him and cook his sprouts, I mean that in only the most literal way. (Seriously...it made me want to cry. He was so completely at a loss. Sniff.) I'm pretty sure that any single guy who sees me in the grocery store is going to run the other way, spreading the word as he goes: "Hey, guys--a woman in her 40s with a cart full of cat food and Lean Cuisines on aisle 4---scram!"

Are there options I'm missing? I'm not going to meet a guy on my couch watching TV, I know...but I'm open to suggestions. Do you have any? Suggestions, I mean. Or guys, too, I suppose. Do you have any of those? Send them my way. Hee.