Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The lap of luxury

I know I'm late jumping on this particular bandwagon, but as it seems I have little inspiration for a post today, I'll go ahead and jump, tardy or no.

The point in question: if you had a sudden influx of...what did Stefanie say? Great gobs of superfluous cash? Something like that. At any rate, if you had a sudden influx of great gobs of superfluous cash, name five things you would consider splurge-worthy. And, conversely, name five things on which you would not splurge, even if money were no object. So, here we go.

Life's little luxuries:

1. Lawn/garden maintenance. I'd hire a lawn crew so fast your head would spin. I hate mowing. And, while I love the actual planting of a garden, I hate weeding, so I'd outsource that, as well.

I used to have a friend who mowed my lawn, weed-eated and trimmed for me, for $6 (random, I was he) and whatever leftovers I had in my fridge at the time. Sadly, he moved away, and I've not found anyone else willing to take on the task (I have a big yard) for such a paltry sum. Miss ya, Vic!

2. Cat box scooper. Wouldn't that be great? To have someone come in a couple of times a day and scoop those boxes for me? While they were there, I guess I could also have them pick up Pudge's deposits in the backyard, as well. I actually don't usually even bother (big yard, remember?), but as long as they're there, they might as well. I'm sure the lawn crew would appreciate it.

3. Chauffeur. I'd love to have someone drive me around while I napped or read in the back. And, while he's waiting to pick me up from the fabulous destination to which he has just delivered me, he can take care of all the pesky auto maintenance, as well.

4. Books, books, books. HARDBACK books. New releases. All of them. ;) The ones that don't really grab me, I could then donate to needy libraries. Sigh. Wouldn't that be swell?

5. Personal chef. Forget the personal trainer--I think the real reason "Orpah" managed to slim down was that she had someone cooking her delicious, healthy meals. Eating healthy is a LOT more work than eating junk.

Not on MY dime:

1. Personal stylist. I know this has been a popular choice, but I think I have pretty good taste and a sense of style. I've just never had the money to implement it in the way I would like. The gobs of cash would certainly take care of THAT problem.

2. Super-expensive designer ANYthing. I don't think having a sense of style need include paying extra for anyone's name on the label. And I just can't fathom paying thousands of dollars for any one item. Heck, I can't really fathom paying HUNDREDS of dollars for any one item. $150-175 seems like more than enough to pay, to me--be it shoes, handbags, clothes, whatever. There are people starving in the world, you know? Get a purse at Target and make a donation to your favorite charity. Or make a donation to MY favorite charity, if you like. ;)

3. Nice furniture. I have cats with claws. Enough said. Though, if I have gobs of cash, I guess I could afford to keep, that's too much trouble. I'll just stick with slipcovers and throws. (WHY is it I love those cats again?) Now, if someone could invent an upholstery fabric that is resistant to cat claws--THAT I would buy!

4. Wine/champagne. Though I did once have Dom Perignon, and thought it was really, really good, I don't think I need more than a $10 bottle of wine, on a regular basis. I'm already a beer snob, no need to add wine snobbery on top of it.

5. Luxury car. Though I would absolutely have a much nicer car than I currently do (like THAT would be hard), I wouldn't pay half a million for a Bentley, or anything. No matter how much it costs, it's still just basically getting you from point A to point B, right? Besides, I need to save that money to tip my chauffeur. Hee. I'm not sure what it says about me that I want a driver for my hybrid, but oh's my list, right?


chickadee said...

I am so with you on No. 2 of the second list. I can't imagine wearing $2000 cargo pants. Brand names are fun, but Banana Republic is as fancy as I can imagine getting, no matter how wealthy I ever get. (Somehow, I doubt this will ever be an issue for me, though!)

-R- said...

But think how much time the personal shopper would save you... more time for reading all those books and getting chauffeured around!

stefanie said...

Personal chef definitely should have been on my splurge list. I thought of that about 30 minutes after I clicked "Publish" on that one, and yet, I resisted the urge to go back and edit. ;-)

Is it wrong that I think the main perk to having a chauffeur would be that he'd be a designated driver? I don't even go out that often, and I swear I'm not a drunk, and yet still... that's where my brain went with that one. Go figure. Having someone drop me off at the door of wherever I was going and then letting HIM worry about parking would be another plus, but it took me another minute to get to that part. Mainly, it was the drinking I was thinking of. (Again, swear I'm not a drunk. Really. You don't believe me, do you?)

don't call me MA'AM said...

Well, if you train the cats to scoop their own poop, then you could choose the personal stylist (for the reason -r- brings up). Right? OR... you could get another wish!

lizgwiz said...

chick, yeah, I'm probably not likely to get the opportunity to test my resolve, either. Sigh.

-r-, but I actually LIKE shopping on the rare occasions when I have extra cash. Looking around at all the pretty, pretty things I could buy...

stef, that WOULD be a nice perk with the driver. (And I'm not a drunk, either!) And I'm going to go ahead and be shallow and insist that he be really cute, so I've got some good eye candy while we're driving, as well. He can have a good personality, too...I'm not that shallow. ;)

dcmm, self-scooping cats. Now that's an invention whose time has come!

metalia said...

Ooh, personal chef; excellent call. Would the chef live in your house, and be at your beck and call, or just come by to cook you your main meals? Hi, I'm overthinking this a bit.

lizgwiz said...

metalia, oh, I think just coming over for the main meals would be fine. I could always have them put together healthy little snacks, as well. Yeah, I'm probably overthinking this, as well. ;)